Facing Procrastination
It is hard to return after weeks away from home and the studio. Procrastination is like paddling in a whirlwind of water. I stare at unfinished works, the messy corner of the room, and my cluttered table. I tried to leave it clean, but it is overflowing with papers, paints, and brushes again.
Procrastination is a building and squashing of energy all at the same time. Where I had clear ideas and plans and excitement on the road, snapping photos, chilling in silence, looking at the way light hits objects, now I am standing still with the fear that I can’t do it justice. I’ll make mistakes, I don’t know how…. Can quickly dissolve into, why bother, who am I kidding, what is the meaning of life.
Food, coffee, endless walks, folding clothes and refolding clothes, and spurring arguments with my husband could distract me a while, but the truth is inside. Stop, breathe. Procrastinating doesn’t feel exciting and full of juice. It’s a hammer on the energy of creativity. It shuts the window shades on appreciation and excitement. But most of all acceptance. We can only do what we can, with the skills we have, and the life that presents itself right in front of us.
Thinking, list making, talking (and writing) about it, complaining, and distracting with busy work and addictions, and other people’s ideas or social media posts don’t stop the haze of procrastination. Only action throws off the blanket of procrastination.
In April I am updating my website Portfolio.
Here is a gouache painting available.
“Happy Rabbit” 19x 14 cm with white matte
$80.00
Just do one thing, take one step in the direction. Paint five minutes or fifteen minutes, stretch on the floor, clean the table, wash the brushes, scan the photos, call a coworker to meet. Each baby step, each reaquainted habit begins to clear away the cobwebs and renew the pathways toward goals and desires. Each step creates a momentum, adds to the other and enhances confidence to go further.
There is no easy way out of procrastination. Only a simple one. Make one act, blind or through its fog. The fog will lift. The weather will change. Procrastination will recede …for now.