How Art Transforms Loneliness

Definition of Loneliness and Solitude?

I’m no expert on how the brain works but I do know something about loneliness. Having grown up in a quiet household, I often went alone to my room to read and play in solitude. This is where I began to learn the difference between solitude and loneliness.

Postcard of an empty boat from my sketchbook.

Creativity and Solitude?

Loneliness is defined as a state of mind in which one does not connect, or feels friendless and remote which may cause the person to feel unwanted, empty, and sad.

Solitude is different. It is a state of being. One might be separate or, actually alone, away from society or in seclusion. As I a child I learned that solitude did not automatically feel lonely but that too much solitude could be a breeding ground for loneliness. I fluctuate between time and energy alone balanced with time and energy with others.

As a child in my room, I cultivated a love of stories and an ability to recharge my energy away from noises, viewpoints of others, and demands of institutions. It was a special place: peaceful, familiar, and safe where my imagination and affinity for creativity grew. 

Creativity with Others?

Those childhood experiences also affected my social side. I remember being stunned by the chaos of open recess at school where hordes of children ran around playground equipment, laughing and yelling at one another. It seemed chaotic compared to the orderliness and silent afternoons that stretched on at home. It took a while to acclimate to my new school surroundings. All those voices, demands, and criticisms made me feel vulnerable and quiet. So I latched onto what I had learned to love when alone: art, books, word games, dance, and crafts. A kindergarten teacher once told my mother that I was growing socially but that I preferred to sit alone at a table, painting, to joining group activities. This preference for solitary activities even alongside transformed when I discovered the “costume box” with some friends and from there, every day included some time dressing- up in used clothing pretending to be princesses, teachers, and hospital with my new young drama friends. I’d found creative cohorts and began my journey out of social isolation.

Self portrait painted during COVID lockdown. Feeling Blue. acrylic on canvas

Because loneliness feels like an absence of connection and kinship, it can happen anywhere. One can feel lonely in cities, crowds, and in the midst of a happy social situation. If we feel misunderstood, invisible, unconfident, or ashamed we can experience a loneliness in which we are cut off from others but also separated from a part of ourselves.

Art and Creativity Transforms Feelings?

I think it can transform that sense of un-belonging. It reminds us of ourselves while inviting us to reach beyond ourselves.

Take the art viewer or collector, for instance.  Just by experiencing art, like a painting,  we can have that “Aha!” moment. You know that moment when you see a painting, read a story, or watch a movie and realize someone shares your worldview or experience? Art can validate us or mirror who we are.  On the other hand, maybe the artists share a different view or way of seeing the world which reminds us that the world is subjective, gray, and rich with a variety of visions. 

Which Artists Made Impressions on Me? 

So many, but I remember how I felt the first time I read Anna Sewell’s, Black Beauty. I didn’t even like horses but the main character,   a horse, captured my emotion and curiosity about the inner life of animals. I’d never thought about it but I finished the book and announced to myself and my father, someday I’d like to do that. “Write a book?” He asked.  Make something that affects the way we see, I said. At the time it was too hard to explain. 

Later, when I saw Georgia O’Keefe’s paintings of the American Southwest,I recognized a kinship with an artist I’d never met - someone who loved exploring nature … or the “Aha!” I felt when first reading Eric Carle’s books as a teacher. I connected with his illustrations and patterns of words. His stories and collage illustrations are  fun and playful and I immediately identified with his love of rhythm and color. 

When Edward Hopper portrays loneliness in a city in works like, Automat  and Nighthawks he shows me that people (now and in the past) have always grappled with universal questions and human issues like solitude and loneliness. Subjects of paintings may be taboo or difficult to articulate but artists and their art brave the terrain of vulnerability to explore, rather than conceal those feelings, subjects, and revelations we  share. And for this, I am forever thankful.

Poets like painters have helped me know that in solitude one can see beauty and pleasure; we can understand and make friends with our aloneness and ultimately with ourselves. If you follow my instagram, martilay6, you know I sometimes quote the poet, Mary Oliver because I love her reverence for nature and solitude.

Penguin on Iceburg, acrylic on canvas painted during COVID lockdown after watching documentaries about climate change.

Experiencing art can disarm loneliness. Alone, looking at an art book I know that even in life’s turbulent waves, even when we feel alone, someone made this painting that I am drawn to and and this person understands me. We are alike. I have a relationship with the painting, the painter, and my value or emotions. This can happen at music concerts, pottery classes, theater. More and more people are taking up creative hobbies in retirement or with online MeetUp apps. Many find wine and painting workshops, crochet clubs, and book clubs to either appreciate art forms or participate in creating art together. 

Art Alone and In Groups?

How does art-making transform loneliness in groups and in solitude? First, in groups, classes, workshops and clubs we build relationships while sharing in the activities. Alone making art and being creative helps build a relationship to self. We can explore our emotions and personal stories to know myself better.. I can foster curiosity and playfulness in myself when I try new mediums and tackle subjects that interest me.

Unlike Tracy Emin, Munch or Kafka I often shy away from  dark themes, opting for bright colors, blue skies, and humor. Sometimes I privately I work through memories, dreams, fears, rage, and even the subject of loneliness and mortality in my sketchbook or canvases I tuck away in the closet. Then I work with charcoal, black and whites, or raging red bold strokes. In most works I embrace and show and rally around peaceful or bright landscapes, nature scenes, animals, and odd, humorous  characters because they bring me feelings I want to cultivate in myself and the world: joy, peace, and warmth. 

Gouache painting on paper, visit the shop for nature paintings and prints for sale

In my opinion…

  I learned to play alone in my room as a child and I’m still doing it in the studio today. It seems that later in life I’m learning to connect more with others and balance my flow between solitude and community. It’s never too late to learn and grow. Remember that, whatever the dream or endeavor, it’s always an opportunity to grow and learn.