Learning by Repetition
Learning by Painting Fat Blackbirds
Monet painted light on haystacks, I paint fat blackbirds.
Inspiration before painting-
Following a walk through my brother’s neighborhood where I saw some blackbirds, I went back to his house to paint two blackbirds in my painting journal. At first, I just wanted to sketch them because I liked their precocious attitudes. I went to the internet for reference photos and proceeded to focus on 2 or 3 images that piqued my interest and began listening to the Beatle’s song, Blackbird. I was satisfied that the first two birds I made turned out well. I liked their shapes, the composition, and the color contrast, but the first picture was different from the song’s lyrics. The birds I had painted were in daylight and cuter than the ones I’d seen on the lawn, and they didn’t reflect what I felt when I spotted them.
A question I ask when I approach painting-
“What feeling do you want to convey?” I asked and returned to the Beatles song. I experimented with watercolor with a dark background for “night” and the feeling I was carrying that the world seemed dark and broken and beautiful all at the same time. My mother was sleeping, ill next door. The first picture was cute, almost as if it were hiding my mood and my experience of the quiet household.
The second blackbird picture showed a short, squat bird singing on a branch. I did like some parts of it. For instance, I experimented with dropping salt on the wet watercolor background which leaves a textured fantasy-like night. But I thought the bird was all wrong in shape and size. At that point, I put my bird paintings aside for the rest of the visit as my attention more and more turned to my mother’s quickly declining health and the relationships and work of the household.
Repeatedly Painting the Same Subject
I can change the painting… and then the painting begins to change me.
Weeks later, back home in my studio, I brought out my sketchbook paintings and decided to change them up. I was back in sunny Spain. My mother had died and we were all processing the loss in our different ways. I recognized that “letting go” while painting is like letting go of anything else (or anyone) in life. Sometimes you have to look at things from a different angle and try different habits to let go of thought patterns or actions. Some artists whose work I admire use their own original works as their references. So now I took the journal paintings out and used them as reference pieces. I also decided to paint tiny canvases (3 inches x 3 inches). This is where the fun began because my pictures were so horrible they were funny.
Short fat blackbirds, paintings in-progress
It’s common for new painters to make birds fat. That’s exactly what I did. Transferring tall horizontal blackbirds on tiny square canvases they ended up fat and wonky. I sketched three and in the end, decided to paint the short fat birds, too. Why?
Because they made me laugh and I liked them. I liked their weird wonky bodies teetering on a tree branch. I had gone back to birds in daylight, birds that cheer me up. I’m not ignoring the pain and mystery of the world or grief but I’m choosing the beauty, humor, and imperfections when I paint, too. That’s what these birds meant to me. Painting them cheered me up.
I decided to stay small and keep playing with small blackbirds staring out, balancing on tiny tree limbs. Each version allowed me to explore the shapes and expressions of these character-filled birds and I also played with backgrounds.
After painting over 10 blackbird paintings
Here’s what I’ve learned so far…
Skill: It’s more interesting to combine black with other colors- blues, purples, red. Layering the colors gives more subtlety and contrasting black with red berries, yellow backgrounds and purple night makes them strong. Using pure black over the entire bird is dull and flat.
Subject: For me, it’s harder to show a bird’s emotion than a dog’s, for instance. Only the bird’s stance, the tilt of the head, the shift of the torso or wings convey their emotion while, with a dog, I rely heavily on the eyes as well as the body’s stance to show character.
Self-permission and Judgement: It’s ok to make sunny, happy pictures. It doesn’t mean you’re shallow or ignoring the deep subjects of life. A comedian uses humor to lighten our spirits and pretty, cute images can relieve us during dark times or stressful situations.
Creativity transforms us: As I painted layers, played with mediums, laughed at wonky fat birds, silently observed bird references, and cried to the lyrics of different blackbird songs I was both distracted by the painful grief of losing my mother and, at the same time, I was expressing and moving through the myriad of emotions. What a beautiful process!
You may notice that all that I’ve learned isn’t about the skills of applying the paint to canvas. Practicing the same subject offered lessons about the self and life. Because that is ultimately what fascinates me. I strive to be a better painter each time I paint, but I also think I’m learning to be a better person with time and practice. Or I hope so.
Your turn. Even if you don’t consider yourself an artist, have fun creating something. Try this:
I recommend taking one subject of interest. You don’t need to know why you’re interested in it or justify it to anyone. It doesn’t have to be blackbirds. Maybe it’s your dog, cupcakes, mushrooms, skyscrapers, whatever. It’s not the subject- it’s your curiosity about it, your interest. That’s the tiny flame you will fan.
Whatever your art form- writing, painting, drawing, photography… Repeatedly practice creating it and while you do, question what you are getting at. What feeling do you want to express or share? How can you convey it? The answers might change as you continue.
Use some of your own works as references (rather than other people’s creations) and see how that transforms or alters the process and products as you repeatedly make them. Ask yourself what parts you like and don’t like about the pieces and the process.
I’d love to hear back what you learned through this process.